The egoless ego by Marilena Iordanou


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I remember those old black and white horror movies of the 30’s how it was all so plain to see who was the villain/master of the story and their little plots or machinations to do harm on others. Everybody remembers this so called villains but what slipped through the sideline though and hardly no one remembers is that these villains had their sidekick. I particularly remember being fond of their graphic sidekicks. You know that every villain needed their helper, the person who does their bidding, the person who obeys his lord/master blindly. The sidekicks who tell their master how great and worthy they are and how they say what their masters want to hear. I also recollect their gothic appearance, hatchback, crossed eyed and ugly. These sidekicks of the villains in every story also had peculiar names.  A common and popular name was Igor.
I have found this name rather to the point and well picked out because Igor sounds like Ego. The sidekicks name resembles a lot like the word Ego, Igor the Ego, a case of ‘if the shoes fits’ and in this case, the shoes fits perfectly. Igor obeys; Igor does what you tell him to do. Igor, out of fear that his master won’t need him one day, tries to do a very good job in being the sidekick. He succeeds. It comes to a point when we start depending on Igor for various tasks and daily interactions. Like the masters in the movies we get attached, we cannot live without our servant Igor.
We think that it is the master who so cannily twists the plot but in reality and with a clear perspective it is Igor the Ego who is the star of the show. It is Igor who pampers the master. Basically the master’s reality is depended on Igor. In these old horror movies it is Igor the puppeteer. In reality and far from the old movies Igor is still very much present and very much real for all of us. Our dependence on our servant Igor overpower us leaving us weak and unable to live in this world and the best part of all, the best trick Igor plays on us is the illusion that we are still in control.
This allegory came to mind unintentionally while learning about the ego and the secretary in the yoga step by step course.
According to yoga philosophy and Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, egoism is an obstacle for true realisation of self. “Asmita (egoism) is the identification of the seer with the instrument of seing” ~ Yoga Sutra 11:6. In other words, ego (ahamkara) is the false sense of self. We identify our self with the way we perceive through or senses. We mistake the mind, the physical body and our senses for who we truly are.
Who we truly are is constant. It has never changed nor is it whimsical to changes. On the other hand, ego consist of parts that are prone to change, like our appearance, our thoughts and judgements, our work, our friendships, our ideologies and so on. Basically, our ego is really what we identify with. We identify as the job we do and as the name we carry, our associations and wealth. We become all of these so deeply that when we come to a loss we grieve so fiercely as if we have lost our self. What is my identity if I get to lose my job? What is my worth in society without my associations? Who am I without my wealth? These identifications hit deep in the core of us becoming strong attachments which already make way for ego to thrive.
These attachments give the ability to ego to be the ever-changing obstacle. Our servant Igor has learned to wear masks and when we call out the mask to be a layer of the ego, Igor has quickly slipped into another mask. What a vicious circle is created by the continuous effort of unmasking the ego!
The hide and seek is an inevitable process that comes to those who are aware of the existence of the ego but lack the knowledge of how it can manifest in our daily lives. The constant self inquiring should be so frequent that feelings of anxiety and frustration immerge. Yes, it becomes tiresome and we get our self involve in the game of outsmarting the ego but yet somehow it is one step ahead of us.
After all this playing around brings weariness, the logical step seems to be to engage in a war with your ego to completely abolish it. Can our ego be abolished? If we look at this situation more deeply then we have to ask ourselves who is fighting with the ego? If I am pure consciousness why do I perceive the ego as a threat? Who fears the unmasking of ego other than ego itself? So who really wants to engage in conflict with ego other than the egoistic mind?  Fire cannot fight fire and an ego mind cannot relieve itself from ego. In addition, if ego is merely the perception of the outside world that means it doesn’t really exist by itself, does it? Like the human body is to viruses, a virus needs the human body to exist, otherwise it dies. So without us ego does not even exist, in other words ego is only a tool. A tool of perception cannot be fought or abolished. So fighting ego is a practise sure to fail now that the notion of the bad sidekick is rebuked.
So now we have established that ego is not our evil twin send from the great beyond to torture us, we can relax and see what ego truly is. Ego is a tool we can use to survey our surroundings. Going back to our allegory, Igor is this wonderful sidekick who helps us communicate with everything that is outside of our true self. Then if Igor is such a good help then don’t fight the sidekick but retrain it to become a tool for our enlightenment and this is the idea according to yoga doctrine.
To continue with this Igor allegory, I now must start the retraining of my sidekick but how do you train Igor? How do you train ego, a mere tool of perception?
In the quest on retraining Igor we must first start paying attention to him, to see how our sidekick works. By doing this an effort is consumed in uncovering his presence. Thus by doing so the ego digs deeper and deeper and so we again try to look harder and harder. To me, this sounds like a game that the ego will prevail because ego is the only one in this equation that plays games. The true self isn’t into games. In all respect to the idea of retraining ego, I feel it is faulty. First of all somebody must exist other than the ego in order to retrain the ego. I don’t feel that ego can train itself in any way. Who will train the ego? At the present moment and with the knowledge in hand, I am not aware of anything that can support this role. Second of all, why would I want to make a great sidekick of Igor? Why do I want to make this tool so useful to me? It sounds to me that I am setting myself up and trapping myself becoming in desperate need of Igor. If I train Igor to be the best sidekick ever and help me a great deal, it will eventually become so essential to me that I will be depending from him. To put it differently, if ego becomes such a great tool for my enlightenment will I really get enlighten? How will someone get enlighten with the help of ego? By the presences of ego automatically implies the existence of attachments. Is it simply a case that when I train my ego I basically raised my ego to a level so high that I cannot understand where ego ends and I begin? My sidekick became such a necessity to me that in the end this trained servant has become the master because in one form or another and as long I exist, ego will always be there. Furthermore, with the training, I give it energy and attention and I have noticed that every time I give these to my ego, it gets bigger and bigger.
To be fair, I understand that ego has a positive aspect to it. It is at most perceived as something negative but it can also be the driving force to positive actions. It is ego that gives us a start up to the path of awakening and self discovery. It is ego that is behind a promotion, a goal, a raise, a better job, a good body physique and so on. Yes, I do understand the positive aspect but is it really a true positive? If being antagonistic and competitive with others will it truly take me a step ahead? Actually, this is what ego does. To be satisfied it must be ahead of others instead of just being content for the effort to be the best you can be in the present moment in correspondence to who you were a minute ago. So, again the positive ego can be as destructive as the negative ego. What has been achieved by the so called positive ego it is still due to ego and no truth can come from a klesha that is a veil in front of our true nature.
Evidently, retrain of Igor the sidekick is, as I see it, a trap, not because you want a lousy helper (the negative ego) nor because an excellent sidekick and helper creates powerful attachments (the positive ego) but because what the ego must become is  neutral. Not good, not bad just neutral. This neutrality provides the means of transporting the outer world with unfiltered sensory free from interpretation. It becomes the clean white sheet which the film projects on. How wonderful it is to acknowledge life around us without infecting it with our vasanas, samskaras and our chitta  vritis.  
Considering the importance of neutrality, one begins to wonder how this can be achieved. How do we obtain neutrality? How do we obtain an egoless ego?
As it was mentioned in the previous paragraphs, the ego loves attention, so when we train it and when we fight it we simply give it attention. With the practise of pratipaksha bhavana we don’t try to forget that ego exists but simply we just ignore it. Leave it somewhere unattended, unacknowledged. Remember, ego can be a fragment of your imagination, feeding it with bad food or good food, it is still being fed. Ignore it, turn your back to it and at least let go of your relationship with your ego and concentrate with building and establishing a relationship with your inwards and what lies behind this tool, work around it. In other words, with pratipaksha bhavana and working around the ego we are loosening our grip on the ego, we weaken the attachments and we substitute our focus elsewhere like strengthening the bond with our true nature.
At this very realisation comes Igor and with a smile lets me know that even though I will ignore him, it won’t solve anything. Leaving him alone without any supervision will grow bigger and bigger. See, Igor through the years of me giving him so much attention it gave him purpose of existence, it became very important sidekick indeed. Without this attention there is simply no need for Igor to exist. But Igor is right, unattained will gain reign over the path for truth. Through the study of ego, I have noticed that Igor is a clever as I am and as foolish as I can be. I noticed he is the child like reflection I see in the mirror of self inquiring. So how do I ignore the ego and yet not letting it run around freely and does as it pleases?
If I God confined me in this body, in this planet, in this universe to help me obtain the lesson my true self needs then I must do the same with ego. Through a reckless, thoughtless and egoistic way of living created a massive playground for my ego to exist and move freely. This playground consists of chitta vrittis, of kleshas, of samskaras and vasana that provide the ego the environment that he needs. An unethical way of living creates the playground for ego to play and to thrive. When you practise the Yamas then you start reducing the space and shrink the playground of the ego. When you keep practising these ethical rules of yoga the playground that the ego has will decrease and shrivel to the extent where it has little room to manoeuvre in.
If the devil hides in the details then God must be in simplicity. Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Brahmacharya and Aparigraha provide the seeker of truth the simplicity required to follow the path to enlightenment. Thus, by averting attention from the ego and diverting to the Yamas, we stop continuously feeding the ego with attention and at the same time preventing it from roaming around and causing trouble.
Another way or maybe in addition to this method, there is also another road to be taken in order to neutralize the ego. In the quote by Mahatma Gandhi “Lose yourself in the service of others” lies the answer to my search. I think what Gandhi meant by this is not to forget about ourselves by helping others and putting other people’s needs as a priority. I believe he meant that with the practise of karma yoga, you again make way for the union with the soul to flourish while in the same time weaken the attachments to the ego. When you devote yourself to practise karma yoga and you are release by the need to see results from your effort then you take way the playground of the ego thus having no space to roam around and create its usual smoke screens. While we put ourselves in the service of others with the karma yoga practise we lose our egoistic self.
To conclude, there will always be an Igor in our midst. This must become apparent and accepted as a prerequisite in order to move forward in the path of enlightenment. We must forget the notion of the good help or the bad help and concentrate on neutrality. In neutrality lies the middle path and the middle path is manifestation of the egoless ego.


Έχουμε πουλήσει την ψυχή μας στον εγωισμό μας και η διαπραγμάτευση είναι σκληρή -Κορίνα Κονταξάκη

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Polarity, Life and the Middle Path by Eliana Anatolidou


On some things in life it is easy for us to understand how polarity is present but what is of a more subtle nature and usually eludes us, is the way it works within us, on us and on the progress of our life. We can all see and understand that our life is full of opposites from the time we are born. The very beginning of our life with our birth marks one end of a polarity situation and our death another. Every day and every night we experience the presence of opposites. Light and darkness, hot and cold, up and down, in and out, our life is full of it and we have come to know vaguely of good and bad and male and female energies. What I have found difficult to understand is the interaction we, as individual human beings have with these opposing forces and the effect this has on our life energies. 
If someone wants to simplify the situation he/she can easily say that basically we live experiencing pleasantness and unpleasantness in our physical, mental and emotional bodies. So in fact, for most of our lives we shift from the nice and pleasant to the not so nice and unpleasant with various degrees and intensities depending on what our life energies and karma attract. We long and strive for most if not all our life to achieve a state of well being at all three levels, in the physical, in the mental and in the emotional. We want our surroundings to be pleasant, our house, our jobs, our comforts and that, we call success. And yet for most people this success on a physical level is not ever enough and they strive for more pleasantness. On a mental level again it depends where your consciousness vibrates but the tendency is that man wants to experience goodness on this level too by having a serene state of mind and not being troubled with thoughts. It has been proven that it is much more difficult to achieve this on a mental level. For most people it is usually more difficult to achieve pleasantness on the mental level than the physical. The same applies to the emotional state too. People nowadays are very troubled in their relationships and love affairs. The very thing they long for escapes them continuously. One love affair fails after another in the western world and people are puzzled and left helpless. So they experience a continuous state of alternate polarity of feelings and thoughts.
What is vital for us to understand here is that it is not so much a matter of achieving a certain state of consciousness and remaining there. For most people it is very difficult to remain centred and unaffected throughout their life despite of what goes on. People with awareness can do it most of the time and they are tested hard. In some ways I would say that perhaps the more awareness you have, the harder the tests. However, even so, they go through the same process which to me is the human process of polarity in order to balance and reach the state of shoushoumna. I do not see any other way of dealing with life, of learning life, of experiencing it. This is the way it works and this is the way people learn and become aware and the funny thing is that they seem to be happening in opposite ways but one includes the other and they all include themselves in our life energies. I have this picture in my mind of the two snakes intertwining and climbing along the spine. They cross each other, then they go out separately and then they meet again, on and on, along the chakras to the top. And this process is continuous and never ending until the day we die. We have the Ida and Pingdala moving on their own and then when they meet we are in shoushoumna and we can have our revelations and understandings of what goes on in our lives but there is no way we could understand or see anything if the two forces did not work separately to begin with. This is the way life works here. We have one situation, then the opposite of it and at some stage the elements of one blend with the elements of the other, if we allow it and we then reap the benefits of the experience. This only happens if our energies are such that they allow the blending and the flow of energy in our chakras. If we do not, then we will suffer and oscillate from one end to the other, from one extremity to the next without any real benefit and just suffering in the samksara. In this situation, we do not gain and we do not evolve. Life does not happen for us but life happens at us. We have to have control of our asana and attitude towards life and act to the situations around us, rather than react.
One fundamental truth that people need to understand is that in this journey we are here to expand as conscious beings and gain from the experience. There is a fundamental and basic pattern in our physical, mental and psychological make- up that makes us want new things all the time. We set new goals. We attain one goal, we rest for a bit, and then another and then another. This is because there is a tendency, an innate life force that pushes us outwards, onwards and forwards. And this happens in these specific tendencies of polarity that exist in our dimension. This is the type of field we play in. So, we tend to move and expand through a world of opposites and we attain awareness and actualization when the experience of the two opposites in our conscious state blend and we reach the middle path of shoushoumna.  Then, the light is allowed to set in, and we have the revelation and with it the elevation.
Unconditional love is something that has been talked about a lot lately and we are told that although we are beings that experience life in this state of polarity, we should transcend ourselves and love unconditionally without any expectations and wants. This puzzles me a lot and I must admit I am far away from achieving this state of awareness. I have studied myself and seen that my consciousness is not there. In love affairs it has not happened but even in the most innocent type of love that a mother has for a child, even there, we do not love unconditionally. Or we could but still there are conditions. Say, your child is involved in bad habits. Are you to love unconditionally and remain action less like Pontius Pilates? If you know the action is wrong and do nothing, you are contributing to the crime and are guilty of ahimsa. It is seriously a fine line that you have to watch. You love, yes and because you love you guide and direct your child because you also have responsibility towards him/her. So the two forces again cross in the middle path where ahimsa cross and meets asteya and because the balance is there, each one counter balances the other out and you are in the right place where truth lies. It is therefore evident that even higher instincts as unconditional love exist under conditions of polarity.  I strongly believe that the higher instincts of truth, of the good state of things, of how things should be, is found in the shoushoumna, in the middle path. But the actions that precede this state were Ida and Pigdala. Of course you have to push and pull when you fight and direct a situation say with a member of the family and all these forces are going on within you and this is how you experience this piece of life. Your actions, reactions and the way you direct your energy will come and create a situation (a bit like making a cake), and this new situation will give you a feeling, a state of being that will tell you if the actions are right or wrong. And it is a continuous and very finite business that you have to always be aware of because it changes continuously. But this is what life is all about. A continuous change, a continuous flow of energy in which we float, mingling with the energies of other human beings creating dreams and situations to which we react and over-react in order to come and settle down and grow and understand. No growth exists otherwise. Polarity brings the growth. As for unconditional love, there are times where there are conditions. There are conditions, because there are actions and reactions. It is as if these conditions are a prerequisite before one reaches the expected state of purity and dignity that the middle path requires. If there is no respect in a certain relationship, love is not pure anyway. These higher states of instincts such as love and respect and truth all exist together in a particular state of consciousness that is true of the middle path. In order for them to appear in our consciousness and become part of our state we have to achieve and reach this level. But this level can only be reached when the two opposites subside, quietened down and disappear, when there is no more friction and opposition. So there are conditions, certain conditions that will allow the unconditional to exist.  What is funny is that the feeling of love, this perfect unconditional love that a mother has for a child is lurking and is present underneath the two forces of Ida and Pingdala in the sense that even if you are angry and disapprove of the their actions the base of infinite love, is there and it will not go away. It is like it is the carpet that is underneath and on which you let the forces and conditions work for the best.  For the good which comes in such proportions that blends and brings everything to the shoushoumna. So unconditional is there, it is just that it contains conditions. How more appropriate can it get, in this dimension? We have these two forces with which we work and live.
In a mother-child love, these forces are more subtle because the bondage is strong and one needs to be very aware. In a love relationship of a romantic nature the two forces play more clearly. They play on two levels. You and the other person is one level because you act in the coming together as two opposing forces and want to mingle, join, and become one. So the life energies are there in all the majesty. Two people who want to come together represent the Ida and the Pingdala forces in that one is the male and the other is the female force. The fundamental need to expand is there in both living things and that is why there is this force that is pulling them together. Whether is physical, mental or emotional they stand to gain in expansion. On another level, these forces of polarity play and work within each person. Each person has their own two forces that pull them individually with their issues and matters that their aura contains. So in fact in a love affair we have the two forces of polarity in a macro-cosmos between the two lovers and in the micro-cosmos within each person. Different levels of living existence which show us once again this is the way life works here. I think this is the blueprint, the pattern on this planet, this is our DNA.  
 We have often thought of the skies as having the salvation of the soul. We look up. We know of down, we live inside and we look outside. This is clear polarity of opposites. However the two opposites meet really. The two edges meet and become the same. There is a point of infinity from which everything starts and finishes. From which everything is projected. And when in a state of shoushoumna we can see that the up and the down the in and the out are all the same. At the point when you realise it, the dimensions blend and you find it difficult to distinguish between the up and down, the in and the out. It is then that you see that there is a point in you, in your consciousness. Your consciousness experiences and projects all the things you see around you. You live your world in your energetic field and in this field all the polarity of your world exists. There in this circle you experience your life, your ins and outs, your ups and downs. Whatever you see out is whatever already  exists and it manifests itself. It manifests itself purely because it is there. There is no other way of manifestation. Whatever is there is reflected everywhere. So everywhere is nowhere and here is there and nowhere. Be aware that you are unaware. Polarity is there so that you can reach no point and when you are at this no point you can see the polarity but you do not live it. You watch from a distance. You observe the part of you that is you, that is part of this existence, at this dimension, at this time, at this level of consciousness.


Raja Yoga: Taking over the control to then let it go by Maria Hadjistylli


Undertaking this course has helped me understand the importance of yoga practices in life. It has provided me with many answers, all based on the realisation that this life is only a preparation, a middle path (shushumna) to the higher path. Yoga is the tool, the book on a universal story.
The philosophy of Yoga is based on the belief that in order to tune in with the Self/soul and the Source, we must let go of all that is heaving us: physical, emotional, mental, karmic, subconscious.
“Let go” is a magical world and it is certainly not of the material world. It entails no effort, total relaxation, freedom, faith, trust, no fear. Yet, Yoga provides many different methods to reach the state of ‘letting go’. Methods that require effort, time, energy.
How can one ‘let go’ and meditate when they have to focus on the steps to get there?
Krishnamurti once said this: “There are no ways or methods to reach Samadhi, you cannot meditate or be enlightened by trying out techniques.” But Krishnamurti had little Ego, or used it wisely. He could easily meditate because he had done a significant amount of spiritual work long time before.
However, we all live in a world that is driven by Ego. Society has led us to believe that happiness is connected to the sensual materialistic world. And the more we believe that, the more connected to our Ego we become. Society uses Ego to reinforce power, whereas Yoga uses techniques to control the Ego and turn it into a powerful tool to be used for our spiritual growth.
Until our spirits are elevated and we can reach a state that we are able to connect to the Source with no effort, we need the techniques. We need a way to keep our Ego busy, so that the real Self can reveal itself. We also need a map to show us the path to fulfil our Dharma and burn the Karma that is keeping us busy with the lessons we need to learn. Only when the soul is free from its Karma can truly set free.
So, how can we break out of the cycle of Karma, without guidelines? How can we be thrown into the desert without any direction? Enlightened people long before us realised the existence of ten very important guidelines, universal rules, which can help us clean our souls and keep it clean for the light to enter. These rules are called Yama and Niyama.
Following Yama is to be truthful, have integrity, lead our creative energy, have what is needed, harm no one. To follow Yama is to follow our consciousness. And when consciousness grows, our connection with the Source grows as well. Once we become more conscious by following these principles, we can let them go. You see, “letting go” has many aspects. We can only let go and forget about the rules, once we have managed to install them in our system and practice them without effort.
Following Niyama is to have your koshas (layers) aligned, to be content in any state of being, to accept the difficulties, to be willing to learn with no ego and surrender to the Higher. These are guidelines to connect with God and a way to absorb universal knowledge. These are qualities that we already have, but have forgotten. To practice them is to become them.
Yama and Niyama should be realised and reinforced by a yogic way of life. They are connected, one is all. Once you have perfected one, all are perfect. And the opposite applies. Once you have broken one principle, all are affected.
It is very difficult to reach meditative states, without following these rules. Not impossible, but difficult. Without awareness, there is no need for meditation. Yet, even with awareness, the room has to be clean and empty for the light to fill it.
Yama and Niyama are the first two steps to the path of enlightment. Yoga provides a complete system of 8 steps that when applied in life and in meditation can help us evolve spiritually quicker.
This system is called ‘Raja Yoga’. It is not the only way to enlightment, but it is a safe way to stop the cycle of Karma code which is strict. The only way for the law to be broken, is to break ourselves into the law.
It is simple yet not easy. To break the law of Karma means to break the thoughts (chitta vritti), habits (kleshas) and programmings (vasana) that hold us connected to our Karma or that create new Karma. Carrying these programmings, only means that we are just not ready yet to return home.
The third step of Raja yoga is Asana. Once we have improved our awareness and created space in our souls through Yama and Niyama, we are ready to let the light enter. Asana is our posture, our attitude in both meditation and life. We need to be in a steady and comfortable state of being in order for our koshas to be aligned.
The forth step is Pranayama. Now we are ready to breath in light. Prana (=vitality, cosmic light) is everywhere, we just have to tune in with it. To do so there are rhythms we can choose from, depending on what we want to achieve.
Sukha pranayama is applied in Hatha Yoga, Kaya Yoga, Four Fold awareness, polarity meditation.
Sukha purvaka pranayama is used to cure naras, to ground us and to align the first three layers (physical, emotional and mental)
There is Savitri pranayama to tune in with the sun and balance our male and female energy.
Asama Vritta Pranayama is also used when practicing pranava Aum.
All techniques have one goal. To help us clean what needs to be cleaned. To help us see what needs to be seen. To keep our Ego busy.
And so, when that is achieved, what is happening around us is of no meaning. This is the stage where we become detached from external senses and situations. It is the fifth stage, called Pratyahara. This is when, external starts becoming internal. Everything is realised as matrix. We become viewers from a distance and therefore cannot be affected if we are not in it. We become trees with strong roots, and therefore cannot be affected by the wind.
Pratyahara happens in most of our lives, with or without awareness (passive pratyahara). It happens to anyone that is concentrated on an action, a feeling, a relationship, a talent. You can be absorbed in something with no expectations or cause. It could be love, dancing, nurturing a child.
Whether it is passive or dynamic (the conscious decisions to focus on something without getting attached or affected by the survival instincts) it is a necessary step to enlightment.
So far, all steps have been external. In all steps, Ego was present. In fact, Ego was in control. But it was present as a server. It was used to serve the Self.
The last three steps are where Ego begins to disappear and control is lost. This is when the experience of meditation truly begins.
Once we are detached from the exterior senses or have perfected and internalised them, we can finally concentrate. This is the stage of Dharana. At this stage Ego is still present. The mind is the one concentrating and observing, we are still in our head. In order to move above the head, we need to give Ego something to do. So we assign Ego to concentrate on a point. It could be a dot, a sound, an image, darkness or light. The dot represents the beginning and end of the world. While Ego is keeping busy concentrating, the Self starts appearing and awareness begins to move beyond the mind.
And then, the space between the observer and the dot slowly becomes smaller, until the observer and the dot are one. That is when we have reached Dhyana. There is no mind at this point. There is no Ego. There is a oneness.
And finally, we are in meditation. Samadhi. Once we have removed our masks and have overcome our minds, we are free to be nothing. Not the dot, not one with the dot. Just nothing and yet everything. The big bang has happened!! And if we do come back, we are no longer the same. We have been absorbed by the Source and therefore we have assimilated God’s qualities.
But I can only assume...

I will get there. We will all get there. Perhaps we are already there, until it is realised...

Maria Hadjistylli


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