The word ego has changed meaning for
me over the years. I never really paid much attention to its deeper meaning in
the past. If you check its dictionary definition you will realise that there are
different interpretations.
One definition describes it as ‘a
false part of our personality constructed in the mind’. Another definition
states that ‘it is your idea or opinion
of yourself, especially your feeling of your own importance and ability’.
In psychoanalysis,
it is considered ‘the part of a
person's mind that tries to match the hidden desires (= wishes) of the id (= part of
the unconscious mind) with the demands of
the real world’. There are
so many other definitions. All rather confusing I have to say, but the common
factor is that nearly all the definitions have negative connotations.
Even though I assume it is derived from the
Greek word which simply means ‘I’, and refers to the self, when we talk about
the ego in general we do usually use it negatively. When we think someone is a bit self-centred
and more concerned with his own well-being or character or promoting himself
usually at someone else’s expense, we often say he or she has a big ego, or he
or she is egoistical or he or she is all ego etc. This is obviously not a good
trait and not one that anyone should be proud of, although of course egoistical
people are obviously not aware of this and consider it a norm. it is not.
So what exactly is the ego in the more
spiritual sense? What is it made of? What does it look like? Where is it? Is it
in the head? Is that why we say someone is big-headed when they act selfishly?
I remember
the SBS group being asked what the ego was. Even though we had just discussed
it, it was still difficult to grasp and explain using the right words. It took
some time and considerable group effort to come up with different answers.
- The
self that is made from the mind. The mind will die; in the same way the self
that is created from the mind is an illusion and is temporary.
-The ego
is the part we want to ignore that is created by the mind.
-It’s a
kind of programming that we use in our lives that we have to be careful of.
I noticed the Ego was always referred
to as a destroyer, a destructive force, something that definitely inhibits
one’s spiritual path. And I remember asking if ‘it is a baddie’ as it seemed to
serve no constructive purpose.
One thing is for sure, this ‘baddie’
does exist and most people allow it to control them making it very difficult
for them to see what is important in their short time on this planet and to
live a serene life without stress and anger and illusions and destructive or
reckless behaviour.
Our discussions brought on further
questions. If we were all egoless then would we all be spiritual beings from
birth since there would be nothing to inhibit us from seeing the light from the
outset? And why were we given egos anyway, if they are such a hindrance?
But there are reasons for its existence:
so we can learn to live with it, to learn to discipline ourselves, to control our
actions and behaviour, to learn to interact ethically with society and to be
giving and generous and grateful, not wanting anything in return for our
actions. Maybe it would all be too easy if we did not have an ego that would
test us and help us discover our own strengths.
Perhaps the biggest test or
achievement which can help us chose the correct spiritual path is to be able to
minimise our ego to the point that it can no longer interfere in our spiritual lives,
so we can ultimately ignore it and concentrate on all the divine instincts
which we should be practicing and applying; simplicity, honesty, gratitude,
pure love and all the many other qualities that will help us develop as
spiritual beings and help us finally find our real Self and to become one with
God.
However, in our materialistic society
where everything is connected to money, fame, success, glory, it is so easy for
the ego to thrive and to push aside these divine instincts. This is felt very
strongly in the Western world where the media bombards us daily with so many
things that we consider so important that we will strive to get them even
though it has been proven time and time again that this is not the path to
happiness and definitely not the path to God – to have that perfect body, the
stunning wardrobe of clothes, that beautiful house, that fancy car. People become nasty, depressed, unhappy, live
in a fake world just to be able to have these things. We are made to believe
that we will live for ever and when something happens – an illness let’s say –
then we are shaken. We then realise the
vanity of it all. And we also realise
how temporary it all is. How can the ego help then? Unfortunately most people
wake up when it is too late.
So yes, I have been pondering a lot
about the ego. Is it all baddie? Does it
not serve any useful purpose? How can we deal with it, live with it, use it,
disregard it?
The other day, when I received the
latest copy of the Yoga Life magazine, I noticed a short article on this very
issue that I have been pondering on and I read it with interest. I must say it
helped clarify and corroborate what we have already learnt. The article itself
was named ‘I want to kill my ego’, which as the article says is something which
any aspiring spiritual person would probably say and want. We feel this is the
only way to reach the truth, to overcome the final hurdle that is stopping us
from reaching the highest level, Atman. To
kill the ego.
So does the author of the article
consider the ego an enemy? Actually no. On the contrary, this is apparently a
common misconception. ‘Those who see more clearly know the ego is a
necessary step in the unfolding of the soul. It is an essential stage in the
evolution of consciousness and all must experience it to its fullest’.
The article also goes on to explain
that the ego is a fictitious centre and all experiences are thought-waves of
the mind in relation to that ego. Ego itself is a kind of thought-wave within
the mind and thought-waves create the illusion of ego through past , present
and future life events. Apparently ego and the conditioned mind go together.
But eventually when you attain enlightenment or you are moving towards it, the
ego changes, it goes through different stages and eventually becomes Satwic,
pure, harmonised. And once it becomes Satwic it is no longer an obstacle. It
is no longer the enemy, but a friend.
So this is good news. It helps us
understand the ego a little bit more. It
seems to me that although the ego is always there, a part of us, in the ‘mind’,
it can be transformed slowly but surely so that it can work with us and not
against us. A necessary part of spirituality therefore is understanding this
and accepting that the transformation is possible because as the article says ‘the
ego is like a river flowing to meet the ocean of Cosmic consciousness and merge
with it forever. At that point ego
dissolves on its own accord, like a salt doll entering the sea’.
Another
important point that we need to be aware of, however, is that in the period we live in now (where we are
approximately 70% ego!) the ego has become so strong and cunning that it has
almost made us dependent upon it, so we actually need it to survive. In the
last thousand years of human existence it has learnt to work with the survival
instinct in order to ensure its own survival. So we need to be able to separate
the two. ‘We have to have enough ego not to stand in front of the bus.’
Thus, separation of the two is most definitely necessary so we can see which is
which and how to react.
We can only do this with awareness of
awareness. We need to
know about the ego, what it is, so that every time something happens to us we
are in the position to ask ‘who is talking’; we need to know if it is the ego
or the soul. Slowly by understanding the ego we can get to know the difference.
So the ego
is part of the path; we have to have it, realise it and then leave it behind. We
have to have it and then lose it rather
than not to have had it at all. The ego must come out and not be suppressed.
Once we have everything, then we can move on to the next stage which is to be
or to have nothing. And that is when we can say we are continuing on the right
path.
However the
ego is very cunning as once the ego is out it definitely does not want to go
away so that is why we need awareness of awareness, an understanding of what is
happening, so we can put the ego to sleep,
make it dormant. But we also need a lot of strength, discipline, the use of regularity, repetition
and rhythm in our lives and of course
knowledge. It may take a long time to achieve, weeks, months, years even, it is
not something that can be understood or applied so easily in the brutal and
materialistic illusory world that we live in.
Our ultimate goal is to learn how to
push it into the background permanently or if not permanently, then relentlessly,
so that our true selves can eventually be revealed and so that we can reach
spiritual levels which would otherwise be impossible to attain if the ego has
its way.
Tasoula Charalambous SBS team 2019-
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